relating to parents when we are adults

Somewhere along the journey from moving into the dorms my senior year of high school, to going off to college, to moving into my own apartment with friends and being financially independent from my parents, my parents' signs of how to show me they love me changed. It used to be hugs, words of affirmation, quality time (and I would get into many arguments over why I didn't spend more time with the family rather than out with friends when I was home on breaks), 'dates' with my dad and lots of conversations over every aspect of my life that they had an opinion about and wanted me to hear them out. Now, I will get random boxes in the mail, sometimes without a sender, with bottles of my favorite perfume which I'm now too poor to purchase myself, or books that I've been looking at on Amazon that would be helpful in my ministry with students, and a plethora of daily emails with random tidbits of information usually about my Jets, Yankees, Fenerbache, or other Turkey related items of news/updates.

Two things I've noticed have changed:
1) I think my parents' new love language is gift giving. From random t-shirts from states they travel to for work, to books, to the Wii which I never play but they thought if they were giving my sister one that I would want one too, to purchases of clothing or dishware or car washes.... I appreciate their support- I just find it amusing that this is their new way of showing me they love me. Almost as if when I left the 'nest' and they got empty nest-syndrome where they no longer were financially supporting me academically, for basic necessities etc. they want to fill that void and continue financially supporting & giving generously to me in new ways.

2) And my dad has realized how much I truly enjoy sports, so he now spreads the word out to all his friends that I'm a "die-hard" (fill in the blank) fan- and will forward back to me anything his friends respond from "You must really love her if you let a Yankee fan still sleep under the same roof as yourself" or "A die-hard football fan of any team is a sign of good parenting". I have gotten emails with lines just saying " Jeter's 2,732 career hit- did you see it?!?" and the body blank :p Sunday afternoon phone calls are now usually about the game they are watching, the game I wish I could watch but am in NE so only get to see local teams play, a run down of stats or them guilt tripping me into coming to visit them so that I can see my favorite teams play live. Long gone are the days of debating apologetics and theology, of them asking questions about boys and dating, of telling me which classes to take and what to do with my life- I guess they figure I've got all that other stuff figured out now that I'm "an adult". But do I?....

Being a young adult is an interesting place to be- I still feel like a college student, yet when I'm around the college students, they feel like "my students" who I work with and have lots of teaching, training, discipling, and building up to do. Yet when I'm around older young adults, I feel like I have nothing to contribute nor offer- I feel like a little kid who knows nothing and is immature. You don't really fit into any category- and everyone around you is trying to figure out their own place, so even your peers are moving along the continuum from one extreme to the other- some of my friends my age prefer to be in the "I'm still in college and want the freedom & partying life of a college student" while others prefer the "I want to develop my homemaking skills, only spend time in educated and intellectual company for conversation and build up my resume to be a good wife/husband and act like I'm 35 even though I'm only in my early/mid-20s". Thankfully, others are like me not really happy with either extreme so we jump back and forth and never land anywhere that seems fitting enough to settle. I also didn't realize I am approaching the 'mid-20s' mark. When did that happen?! I'd like to think of myself as still being in my early 20s, and for now I am, but upon my next birthday many people around me have warned me I will FEEL like I'm getting old. I wonder what it used to feel like back in the 1800s to be in your early or mid-20s. Does it feel the same way today or did they feel more mature and older as a 30-something year old might feel today?

Things I wonder....I also wonder how my relationship with my parents will change when/if I get married and have kids....perhaps their love for me will move onto loving my kids and show me they love me by being good grandparents. Will it ever look more like a peer-friendship when we are older? Maybe that depends on culture and personality- I think my dad would like to always keep me as his 'little girl' so maybe not ;-) Only time will tell.