Slowly my life is unfolding itself. I have decided to go on staff with IV back at Wellesley next year for at least a year part-time. I'm really excited about it- just everything that I've seen Him doing there already, conversations, relationships, areas to grow and support that community of women. Opportunities to serve Him and care for the needs of Wellesley, Boston, or going on trips like KRUP or to Guatemala to share what we've been blessed with to those who don't have at all or have lost what they did have. I'm out in Iowa visiting my relatives and family for a few weeks, and the flooding out here just breaks my heart. Reminds me of Katrina's disasters yet hardly anyone really knows how bad it is until they see it. I heard of the floods on TV while back in NY but didn't realize the drastic impact it had on all those here in Iowa, or how hard hit the Midwest really was. Their whole lives from their farms (which is their crops and thus their financial support to live off of for the year) are submerged underwater and thus lost, along with homes, stores, cars, family members and any special mementos. It breaks my heart to see them trying to get back on their feet with only the clothes on their backs- no home, job, possessions, just their internal drive to keep living the next day. Makes me wonder how those who don't have a purpose in life can choose to live each day with nothing to live for. Life would be so meaningless without knowlegde or an understanding of why we are here, the hope and strength to know what to live for, and the greater things out there beyond what we might typically lean on for security.
I've kind of been challenged in these same ways, but to a different degree and different purpose. I need to share with others my heart for Wellesley and why I've chosen to go work there rather than getting a high paying job in I-Banking, going on for a PhD in Sociology or going on to MedSchool next year. Many people ask- "How's this going to help you make money? How will you support yourself?" and that's when I need to remember God's promises that He will provide the support and necessities of life that I will need each day, so that I can live from one day to the next without knowing many months down the road other than that it will be okay because He is my security.
Oh the lessons that we will continue to learn, even after we've graduated and are no longer attending classes- life itself is the largest class you'll ever attend and everyday there's an exam. At least in life, failing a test helps you learn more and prepare yourself better in the future to do better in life farther down the road. Although Turkish soccer would prove me wrong- 3 comebacks in Euro2008, first team ever to win after being behind in 3 games, each game more exciting of a comeback than the one before. The best against Croatia yesterday- although they would be better off (maybe?) if they solidified their wins early on in the games rather than waiting until the last possible moment. But hey- games aren't over until the fat lady sings right? so winning at the end is all that matters. Actually I take that back, Turkish soccer is a good image of what life is like- what it looks like at the end once everything is done is what matters most and the mistakes along the way can be overlooked.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
OLAAAAY, OLAY, OLAY, OLAYYYY- Türkiyeeee!! Türkiyeeee!!
You grow up with pride- for your country, for your family and for the sports that penetrate the culture to such an extent that everyone knows the names of the teams and major events are rescheduled around the nights of the biggest, most important games. Futbol (soccer) was that sport for me. And it's with great pride and joy that I watch and cheer on for the Turkish National team- whoever they are playing and wherever I am.
I thought I was excited about the Lakers winning game 3 last night- and I was. But my excitement was not equal to being ecstatic and the extent to which my heart was pulled back-and-forth watching each 'score' was nothing in comparison to watching Turkey play Switzerland in Euro2008 today. Watching each pass intently, yelling at the TV when a foul was missed or a yellow card was pulled unnecessarily, cheering at the top of my lungs, clapping and singing to celebrate each Turkish goal- it brought me back home and made me miss the atmosphere of watching games in Turkey with Turkish fans. I guess Americans haven't really gotten into soccer here, they have too many other sports that pull their attention away from soccer. Not to say that I don't enjoy watching a good basketball or American Football game- but the intensity of the players, the spirit of the fans, and just the overall atmosphere is very different from being at a soccer arena or watching in a Turkish cafe with friends.
I am proud that Turkey won today.
I am proud to be part Turkish.
And I am proud to know there are good things about various cultures- and to make a perfect life you'd have to take a little bit of everything and mix it all together :-)
Let's go Turkey- win EURO2008!
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
En Büyük Türkiye Başka Büyük Yok!
OLAAAAY, OLAY, OLAY, OLAYYYY- Türkiyeeee!! Türkiyeeee!!
You grow up with pride- for your country, for your family and for the sports that penetrate the culture to such an extent that everyone knows the names of the teams and major events are rescheduled around the nights of the biggest, most important games. Futbol (soccer) was that sport for me. And it's with great pride and joy that I watch and cheer on for the Turkish National team- whoever they are playing and wherever I am.
I thought I was excited about the Lakers winning game 3 last night- and I was. But my excitement was not equal to being ecstatic and the extent to which my heart was pulled back-and-forth watching each 'score' was nothing in comparison to watching Turkey play Switzerland in Euro2008 today. Watching each pass intently, yelling at the TV when a foul was missed or a yellow card was pulled unnecessarily, cheering at the top of my lungs, clapping and singing to celebrate each Turkish goal- it brought me back home and made me miss the atmosphere of watching games in Turkey with Turkish fans. I guess Americans haven't really gotten into soccer here, they have too many other sports that pull their attention away from soccer. Not to say that I don't enjoy watching a good basketball or American Football game- but the intensity of the players, the spirit of the fans, and just the overall atmosphere is very different from being at a soccer arena or watching in a Turkish cafe with friends.
I am proud that Turkey won today.
I am proud to be part Turkish.
And I am proud to know there are good things about various cultures- and to make a perfect life you'd have to take a little bit of everything and mix it all together :-)
Let's go Turkey- win EURO2008!
Patterns
It's funny how sometimes life repeats itself. I was going through some old High School publications and found this poem that I wrote. It has just as much meaning now as it did then, yet bizarrely in a different way.
The Enigmatic Portrait
When looking at the painting,
Its passionate bold colors strike me
As pleasantly inviting,
Yet there's something more that I see
When looking at the painting,
There is a greater lure,
It is mystical and charming,
Yet its true profound meaning, I am unsure
When looking at the painting,
My heart longs to know more,
A real understanding,
Yet my mind hits a closed door
When looking at the painting,
I become bamboozled and confused,
Its facade is beguiling,
Yet my inquisitiveness is pursued
When looking at the painting,
I meditate on it for hours,
Seeking a better appreciation
For this masterpiece of art.
When looking at the painting,
Its passionate bold colors strike me
As pleasantly inviting,
Yet there's something more that I see
When looking at the painting,
There is a greater lure,
It is mystical and charming,
Yet its true profound meaning, I am unsure
When looking at the painting,
My heart longs to know more,
A real understanding,
Yet my mind hits a closed door
When looking at the painting,
I become bamboozled and confused,
Its facade is beguiling,
Yet my inquisitiveness is pursued
When looking at the painting,
I meditate on it for hours,
Seeking a better appreciation
For this masterpiece of art.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Merhabba Dunyasi
Wellesley was a beautiful place to spend four years- four years where pressure really created diamonds and gems of priceless value which I will now have for the rest of my life. It was real. It was life- friends, Ultimate, fellowship, academic classes, faith, music, tears, joys, heartaches, laughter, conversations, stars, rain, walks, being the cookie, and being the senior mentor. I've learned more while being at Wellesley just living life than any class could ever teach me. And I think through it all it's made me that much more ready to step out and try to do things that I'm afraid of failing at. I've learned scars need to be reopened if they were infected when they first 'healed' over and even if the process hurts, it makes you a better and stronger person in the end. I've learned to not be afraid of the initial pain that reopening things can cause because in doing so, it will end the long, dull throbbing that was there before replacing it with soothing healing.
I'm scared of the unknown and unexpected, what I cannot predict nor have control over- but I am ready to move forward despite the fear. If I don't move on, I'll be left here without anything to hold onto. God has a plan for me and that plan is ahead of me. It is not here, right now, planning to stay here for the rest of my life or in the past of the things I've done- if it's not here, then I shouldn't stay here either.
I feel like a child again- letting go of Wellesley the same way I let go of my parents' hands when learning to walk, or letting go of Turkey as a teenager when I had to learn a new culture and lifestyle that was not my own. Wellesley wasn't comfortable when I started there, nor was falling on my face with those first few steps, or moving into an anti-Middle Eastern world when all I wanted to do was go back home to the country I loved. I felt uncomfortable, lonely, lost and hurt that friends weren't as close as they had been when I was with them. And I know I'll go through that all again in this cycle called life. But I am ready because I know it will come. I am glad I've lived through it before and have those experiences to learn from. I am glad I went through those experiences to become the woman I am today. I am looking forward to what the future holds and how I will continue to grow through whatever lies ahead, whatever thorns, whatever roses, whatever building stones my Father uses to build me into the masterpiece He has designed for me to be. I just pray that some of the friends of my past will hold on and walk along side, becoming the scaffolding that supports me as I rise.
I'm scared of the unknown and unexpected, what I cannot predict nor have control over- but I am ready to move forward despite the fear. If I don't move on, I'll be left here without anything to hold onto. God has a plan for me and that plan is ahead of me. It is not here, right now, planning to stay here for the rest of my life or in the past of the things I've done- if it's not here, then I shouldn't stay here either.
I feel like a child again- letting go of Wellesley the same way I let go of my parents' hands when learning to walk, or letting go of Turkey as a teenager when I had to learn a new culture and lifestyle that was not my own. Wellesley wasn't comfortable when I started there, nor was falling on my face with those first few steps, or moving into an anti-Middle Eastern world when all I wanted to do was go back home to the country I loved. I felt uncomfortable, lonely, lost and hurt that friends weren't as close as they had been when I was with them. And I know I'll go through that all again in this cycle called life. But I am ready because I know it will come. I am glad I've lived through it before and have those experiences to learn from. I am glad I went through those experiences to become the woman I am today. I am looking forward to what the future holds and how I will continue to grow through whatever lies ahead, whatever thorns, whatever roses, whatever building stones my Father uses to build me into the masterpiece He has designed for me to be. I just pray that some of the friends of my past will hold on and walk along side, becoming the scaffolding that supports me as I rise.
