Merhabba Dunyasi

Wellesley was a beautiful place to spend four years- four years where pressure really created diamonds and gems of priceless value which I will now have for the rest of my life. It was real. It was life- friends, Ultimate, fellowship, academic classes, faith, music, tears, joys, heartaches, laughter, conversations, stars, rain, walks, being the cookie, and being the senior mentor. I've learned more while being at Wellesley just living life than any class could ever teach me. And I think through it all it's made me that much more ready to step out and try to do things that I'm afraid of failing at. I've learned scars need to be reopened if they were infected when they first 'healed' over and even if the process hurts, it makes you a better and stronger person in the end. I've learned to not be afraid of the initial pain that reopening things can cause because in doing so, it will end the long, dull throbbing that was there before replacing it with soothing healing.
I'm scared of the unknown and unexpected, what I cannot predict nor have control over- but I am ready to move forward despite the fear. If I don't move on, I'll be left here without anything to hold onto. God has a plan for me and that plan is ahead of me. It is not here, right now, planning to stay here for the rest of my life or in the past of the things I've done- if it's not here, then I shouldn't stay here either.
I feel like a child again- letting go of Wellesley the same way I let go of my parents' hands when learning to walk, or letting go of Turkey as a teenager when I had to learn a new culture and lifestyle that was not my own. Wellesley wasn't comfortable when I started there, nor was falling on my face with those first few steps, or moving into an anti-Middle Eastern world when all I wanted to do was go back home to the country I loved. I felt uncomfortable, lonely, lost and hurt that friends weren't as close as they had been when I was with them. And I know I'll go through that all again in this cycle called life. But I am ready because I know it will come. I am glad I've lived through it before and have those experiences to learn from. I am glad I went through those experiences to become the woman I am today. I am looking forward to what the future holds and how I will continue to grow through whatever lies ahead, whatever thorns, whatever roses, whatever building stones my Father uses to build me into the masterpiece He has designed for me to be. I just pray that some of the friends of my past will hold on and walk along side, becoming the scaffolding that supports me as I rise.